Should I Wear Makeup On A First Date?

Look at Instagram and you'd recollect everyone woke up perfectly imperfect. Mode, dazzler, social media, pop culture, all cultivate a myth of effortlessness. In this package, ELLE.com acknowledges, dissects, and celebrates the effort. Because effortlessness is a privilege that not everyone tin can afford. And there's no shame in admitting you actually love putting in the work.

It was my first appointment after having recently broken off a iv-year human relationship. Bated from the usual things to get nervous most—looking adept, bad small talk, and in the case of dating apps, whether or non I was getting Catfished—I was extra jittery because I decided to encounter this new guy with zero makeup on my face. As much as I've gotten more than comfy with wearing less, I wasn't quite gear up to pull an Alicia Keys.

Throughout the night I felt really naked. I wondered whether the nighttime acne scars on my cheek were visible in the bar calorie-free, if I looked like I hadn't slept in 2 days without concealer and blush, if I didn't look every bit attractive equally my profile photos without my usual winged liner. It was distracting. And frustrating. Fifty-fifty if the engagement ultimately ended upward going well enough that it stretched over five hours and three locations, initially sitting in that insecurity was a little uncomfortable.

The pressure to go makeup-complimentary comes from all directions: Memes of women'southward faces before and later makeup with captions similar "Take her swimming on the outset date," or "This is why I have trust problems." Drake raps that he thinks a girl is prettiest "hair tied chillin' with no makeup on" in "Best I E'er Had," while John Mayer croons a girl with "no makeup" is "so perfect" in "Comfortable." From women, encounter: Alicia Keys' manifesto on ditching makeup, or every time women'due south publications accept called a glory "dauntless," "inspiring," or "fearless" (sigh) for deigning to post a bare-faced selfie. All of the above seems to suggest that wearing makeup is, at best, constricting and, at worst, deceptive. As enlightened of this tension as I am, information technology still instills guilt in me—preferring makeup on myself (especially when information technology comes to how I want to present myself to a romantic involvement) can make me feel similar I'thousand failing at self-beloved.

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My full face and my bare face.

Kristina Rodulfo

But back to my first date. For this i, I wanted to effort...not trying. Nonetheless foreign, that nonchalant, have-me-as-I-am mental attitude has always been an aspiration. Would I really experience more authentic, or like I truly endemic who I am, as pop culture and women's empowerment-marketing would accept me believe?

Before going, I took a casual poll on my Instagram stories. Of 205 respondents, 69 percent said no, they take non gone on a commencement date without makeup. 31 percent said yes, they had. Next, I asked those who said yes to explore the many tricky layers of dazzler's office in those all-besides-precious get-go impressions. Read on for a few of those responses.

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Kate, 25

I've been on a few dates without makeup, but this one was special considering it was a commencement engagement bluff..and it was completely past mistake. I packed my makeup purse with the intent to show up fresh-faced—simply with makeup. Instead I was held up by a piece of work emergency so had no time to do anything before I ran out of the office. I was and then flustered almost beingness late that I didn't fifty-fifty realize I was bluff until I reached the bar.

When I arrived I seriously considered bee-lining for the bath even though it was directly backside him. So I thought to myself, "Ah screw it" and proceeded to wager completely on my personality (and outfit). Not one time did he bring up my naked face—and information technology was a marathon of a first date. Nosotros had so much fun nosotros went from a drink or 2 to an entire evening talking and barhopping (both dim and brightly lit places, I might add).

It's of import to non idealize effortless beauty because it doesn't exist.

I similar [a natural beauty await] especially for the early on stages of dating because it helps reiterate to myself that at that place isn't a demand to put a best pes forward when you're romantically interested in someone. In fact, it's more than of import to retrieve to be your natural self. And my natural self just so happens to not employ a lot of makeup.

At the cease of the day, people are definitely allowed to take preferences. Merely it's of import to not idealize effortless beauty because it doesn't exist.

Domenika, 28

I wearable makeup almost everyday. I didn't know him well, nosotros'd been exchanging texts for a while and decided to but become together. We had mutual friends and knew of each other but hadn't actually met in person. It was summertime and I was tan and felt like I had a natural glow, plus it was hot and I didn't feel the need to vesture makeup. Maybe I was having a lazy day. I remember thinking, "If things become well, then he is eventually going to encounter me without it regardless."

I was just beingness myself, which he says it fabricated him try harder. Fast forward two years later—nosotros concluded upwards getting married.

I actually felt skillful. We had a great connectedness and were lost in chat then I didn't even remember or notice that he was looking at my plain face. That day he didn't seem to detect, or at to the lowest degree I didn't recollect he cared or noticed, but when we talk about it he always says how he was surprised that I didn't habiliment makeup on the date with him. Information technology fabricated him think that I wasn't trying to impress him. I was just being myself, which he says it made him try harder. Fast forward two years later—we ended upwardly getting married in April.

In my stance, we as women don't wear makeup for men and we don't need them to approve of it. I know I wear it for myself because information technology makes me feel ameliorate on days that I might need a little something extra to experience confident.

Sara, 24

I wear less and less makeup every bit fourth dimension goes on. I used to practise a full face every solar day, but for the concluding few years, [I've worn] inappreciably any. My mascaras dry up before I tin use them upward. I didn't know my date at all. We had met once at a bar—I as well wasn't wearing makeup and then—and and then our first engagement was at a dive bar 1 night later work.

I just wanted to be comfortable. I was wearing workout leggings even though I hadn't exercised. I guess I was feeling actually confident and similar I had nothing to evidence. He definitely noticed, and after commented on, my overall casual look. I remember it was a little disarming. I would totally practise it again. It's nice to feel confident with or without makeup and to accept the option to not article of clothing it. After doing a full face up every day for years, I didn't discover it fun anymore so I simply stopped. At present I play with makeup whenever I feel like information technology and information technology'southward fun again.

I was feeling really confident and like I had null to bear witness.

Julia, 25

Nosotros messaged each other for two weeks through Tinder. He messaged me proverb he was leaving the next twenty-four hour period for holiday and it was the final dark he'd be gratis. I was already at work and didn't feel like freeloading off Sephora.

I was anxious and annoyed the residue of the mean solar day. Every time I looked in the mirror, I kept wishing I was one of those girls who carried their makeup numberless with them! But, 100 percent yes I'd wear no makeup on a date over again. If he did notice I wasn't wearing any makeup, he didn't make any comments nigh it.

Mary Kay, 24

I regularly wear footling to no makeup. On a daily footing, I have a bare face. It's a bit of a special occasion for me to take any on, though I'll accept the fourth dimension to put lipstick and eyeliner on. I barely knew the people I went on dates with. Most of them I met online and had simply talked to for a brusk period of fourth dimension. The less I knew them, the less motivated I was to put on whatsoever makeup.

It'south also my natural state, so if that wasn't appealing for them, and so they weren't appealing to me. I feel comfortable wearing no makeup. My face feels more than gratuitous and I spend less time thinking about whether or not part of my face is smudged or distorted due to unruly makeup.

The less I knew them, the less motivated I was to put on whatever makeup.

I don't call back a guy has ever really brought up the absence of makeup on my face. In fact, they don't actually bring upwardly anything when I do have makeup on my face unless I bring it upward first.I don't care to put the extra try into putting on makeup for a date that may not matter.

Noelle, thirty

I've never been a makeup type of daughter because I haven't quite mastered how to do information technology. I've likewise never felt insecure about it, then it didn't even occur to me to wear any for the date.

I, of course, was nervous from "offset date" jitters, but that was completely unrelated to my lack of makeup. Now, nosotros're married and have been together for 10 years.

He said that transparency was actually refreshing and was a turn-on for him

He really did notice simply didn't bring information technology up until nosotros were further into our relationship. He said that the transparency was actually refreshing and a turn-on for him. He'd idea, "Wow she's non similar near girls; she's pretty without makeup."

At the end of the twenty-four hour period, information technology all comes off anyway!

Kristina Rodulfo Beauty Manager Kristina Rodulfo is the Beauty Manager of Women'southward Health—she oversees beauty coverage beyond impress and digital and is an expert in product testing, identifying trends, and exploring the intersections of beauty, wellness, and culture.